Random/VBS #1

For the second time in my life today, I was told that my children are my downfall. Its Fathers day. A day where we are suppose to lavish praise and adoration on the fathers of our children. Well since I have an obvious lack in that area. We spent the day with my parents. And as it always does my relationship status comes up. Why does this define who I am? Better yet why does this define my ability as a parent? I made the suggestion to someone, we will call him Fred. Anyway “Fred” said that I needed to find a man, preferably with a job to take care of me. I said ok if it means that much to you here you find me a man with a job that will take care of me. But he can’t be white. Because well every time I’ve tried to date a white person it doesn’t end well. Fred says yea because they find out you’ve been with a black man and don’t want anything to do with you. Is that really how this society that we live in is? I don’t have a problem with my children’s race. Why should I expect subpar relationships or treatment because I didn’t fit in the cookie cutter southern girl tray? And I’m not totally discrediting a white man. But the problem I have run into is this: I refuse to dummy down myself to be a perfect southern belle. I’m not an idiot and I REFUSE to act like imp some dingy blonde. I want a man I can spend my life talking to without having to break down my words. I want a man who is going to chase me, be enamored with me. I am passionately in love with me, and I have a few old school beliefs. For example. If a man wants to be a part of a woman’s life. He will pursue you. If I have to beg to spend time with someone. You obviously don’t want to be with me. Also, you can ask my friend Angie Weston. I utter the words; I hate to call because I don’t want to be a bother to anyone. She assures me it’s ok to call. Yet I still don’t. Because I don’t want to bother them. I also believe that if someone interests your man, and he becomes overly flattered it’s perfectly ok to say ok and walk away. If you can be tempted by a jezebel you weren’t mine to begin with…  What do you say to someone who says stuff like this? How do you come back? I mean no it is not my intention to stay single my whole life. I pray fervently that God will send the man he has designed for me into my life. But like my planting analogy. I tend to get in the way of Gods plan sometimes. Michelle has said that this dude needs to be in the front row of the church waving a sign that says “Shelly!! This IS your guy!!” and that’s probably true. Ok now that it’s written down. Moving on. Today was VBS kick off at CV-Baptist. This is not my home church but, for the third year. I was ask to help. Today while sitting in a church that is not my home church Mary Riley said VBS is not just for the kids and it hit me there. My testimony, coming to the Lord with a fully serving heart. Happened 3 years ago. In the back row of Cherry Valley Baptist Church. See I wasn’t living my life for the Lord. But someone and I don’t even remember who invited my kids to Vacation Bible School. It was like 3 hours long. And at the time I was living with Randall and we were fighting. Which was more often than not. So I didn’t want to go home. God had been weighing heavily on my heart. So I had bought a journal and decided that I was going to start writing out my prayers. I was in this back row writing in my book. And the first day no one bothered me. The second day a sweet woman named Mary came and checked on me. (wasn’t Mary riley and I have no idea what her last name is) anyway she basically invited me to help. Now this was not my church, in my mind normal churches accept help only from its members. That week went by and each day I was blessed. And I have not looked back since. I have formed a real relationship with Christ. This is the third year and I am honored to be ask to help. I absolutely love seeing all the children and love all the questions. Now I help at my home church too. But my walk with Christ. My path to righteousness started on the back row of a VBS rally. I encourage you to seek out Vacation Bible schools. Just stick around and absorb the spirit. Your life will be changed!