Wow this one is deep buckle up. This is a dedication to Duck.
Thank you for changing my life.
I didn’t think I deserved you.
I didn’t think of myself as a human worthy of love outside of sex. Crazy how one year later I see how life has come full circle. How just by giving me love and nurturing me without expecting my body as a reward or a treat, I can see how you have changed me. You have made me stronger and I didn’t see it. Each time you’ve made me say I hate you. You are right. I have grown. Each time you hurt my feelings with the truth because you refused to lie to make me happy. Lord how I cried because I finally had to grow and see it for how it was. Thank you for showing my no our son how to be a man. For showing him that no matter how mad a lady makes you you never put your hands on her and that includes his sister. Thank you for showing him that it’s his job as a man to never let a woman carry anything. And thank you for finally allowing me to carry my own drink in the house. I know it pains you when I refuse to let you coddle me. But you do coddle me and take care of me and protect me. You have shown my family real love. Tough love. And for the first time in my life I know without a doubt that I am good enough. I deserve better. I deserve to be more than just a piece of ass to someone. I know I deserve love and it’s because of you. One day not so far away I know you will drift to another couch. But the lessons you have taught me are forever and you will ALWAYS have a place on my couch. We love you. Thank you for being my “gay best friend” the guy I can talk to about other guys. The guy who changes my tire, and checks my oil. The father to my children. You didn’t make them but God I love the way you love them!
I wrote this a few weeks ago and then Ella got Covid. And I felt terrible she without a ounce of hesitation told her “dad” she needed feminine hygiene products because she knew I didn’t feel good. And it literally brings tears to my eyes. I never imagined we would have the dad we all needed.
Til next time
Ali
