Call me the queen, of procrastination. Webster’s defines procrastination
n. The action of delaying or postponing something. It is 10:33 at night as I am
typing this. I am sitting in my bedroom floor because I started rearranging my
room today, and didn’t finish so my desk is not situated in a manner that I can
work on it… handy right. You are probably thinking, why am I reading this? Because
you chose to that’s why and I promise I have a point. A few weeks ago, looking
like a deranged person, I was at the local Dollar General and the cashier was
in some serious pain, you could tell she was hurting. Me being who I am I said
I will pray for you. And wouldn’t you know right there in that moment God spoke
to me, He said Alicia Michelle (He calls me Alicia, it’s a relationship thing
if you know me and love me you see the Alicia in me) what’s stopping you from
praying right now, in my mind we had a conversation it went like this:
Me: There are a lot of people in this line just trying to
get home
God: and your point?
Me: Umm I don’t want to stop the flow. I’ve been the person
behind the person who is stopping the line.
God: Who’s in charge here
Me: okay fine….
So, I said you know what no I won’t pray for you when I get
home right now let’s do this, to the shock of the people behind me in line I stopped
and prayed out loud with this person. And then I invited her to church and got
her number. It was empowering. called
her the next morning she didn’t answer so I left a message. Well Today I go
back to my local store because my Grandma sends me there to get her stuff. And
the girl is there. When I am literally walking out, mind you I look like
something the cat drug in that the dog wouldn’t play with. I didn’t dry my hair
last night so it was sticking up quite fiercely. Ella told me I looked like a
monkey this morning… first thing I hadn’t even rolled out of the bed and her
face is in my face and she says mom, your hair you look like a monkey. GEE
thanks Ella. So, this girl says, hey you’re the woman that prayed for me. Ummmm
I’m on the spot. I say Yes that’s me. She says yea how are you small talk and
blah blah blah. Well I invite her to church again. Because well that’s what I do.
Then it occurred to me that revival was starting tonight. So, I say hey revival
tonight at church I’ll pick you up! So, I call her and she puts me on the spot
as a Christian I have never ever been ask this question. And I’m honestly ashamed
to say I couldn’t answer her…. She said,
“What is revival?” Say what?!? Umm I am stumped and I start thinking, I read
that book the circle maker, well I didn’t finish it but I got halfway through
it and sat it down somewhere and lost it. I have since found it. I lamely said
you know churches have revival its where they have a guest speaker come in and kind
of stir things up. So, all night I’ve been thinking about the word its self. Like
what does revival mean? Because I am going to be prepared to answer this
question if it EVER happens again. Revival: an improvement in the condition or
strength of something. Like in my heart I know what revival is. It’s when you’re
like a fire going out, and its just embers, and the fire captain throws some
kindlin on, and a few logs and brings you back to life. It’s a re-awakening
lead the dead arise and have fire and passion and be filled with Gods love so
fully that they simply can’t contain it. Why couldn’t I put that in some sort of
logical explanation at 4 something this afternoon? I know why. I mean I’m not
backslidden but I am not where I once was. I have let my brain get distracted
by this world. And The sin that so easily besets me (Hebrews 12:1) is so easy
to access. Not a lot of people know my sin. From the outside looking in, you
might say this chick has it all together. I don’t, at all. Save who I call my
best female friend, she knows. Because I call her and cry when I fall into temptation.
So, I listened intently (as much as I could for getting on to my children (I didn’t
give Noah Adderall today—what was I thinking) but at invitation, the last part
of the service they are singing a song and it’s a song I know and it says
something along the lines of my yoke is easy. There’s a part of the bible that
says that. HERE: Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me,
all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke on
you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you shall find rest
to your souls. For my
yoke is easy, and my burden is light. As I am singing this song to a God that loves
me so much even though I FAIL Him daily, sometimes hourly, sometimes by the
minute. Lord I am so happy that He loves me because my SIN is big. But those
verses? Well heres what I take. If you put that yoke on you, and then fight
like a cat getting baptized, it is not easy and it is not light. When you take
that yoke on you and follow the path that Christ has lined out for you and you
just walk with Him then yes its easy because the loving Father that HE is, HE
carries all the weight and you just get to coast along, but this world wants
you to be the cat. Wants me to be the cat getting baptized because every cat is
being watched just like every person who is letting the Lord guide their lives
are being watched. This year has not been my year. Because I have been the cat,
trying to get baptized. How many times has God left me when I scratched him?
NONE I me Alicia Michelle Mitleff have had not one not two not three not four
but five auto accidents this year! JUST THIS YEAR. I’ve praised God that I walked
away every single time, but I still lived in this world. I still sinned. We all
sin. But I just blatantly was doing it planning it. Making it happen. Being convicted.
There’s one person bless his soul, I love him but can’t stand to be around him
because when he speaks out comes God, and I get convicted. And I told the
person that. That conviction is because I’m saved Jesus is in me; I’m just
doing the whole cat thing… It’s hard to admit. I haven’t been what I can be. I haven’t
been studying the way I was at one point I stopped making it a priority and
made it an afterthought. Case in point, I should be in bed. I am usually asleep
by 10 unless I’m working. I like sleep. Normally I would have put this off but
tonight God spoke to me. And the visiting pastor said “This may be the LAST
invitation you ever hear.” And normally I would be like oh yea whatever but
that little voice in my head said, “Alicia I have had your butt 5 times this
year and you still won’t learn you are the most hardheaded child I have. I love
you but this is IT! And it is. So, if you are reading this and you are one of
the people that assist or allow me to sin and you find that I am not responding
to your texts and calls. Well it’s because I choose LIFE!
Long winded I know.
Thanks for reading!!
Shelly
